Thursday, December 22, 2011

emo.

Night and day. Up and down. Black and white. Right and left (yes, I put right ahead of left, Harris). On and off. Guys and girls.

Let's look at that last one. It completely fits the pattern because all of these things are complete opposites. Of course my phsychological brain comes out when I think about this topic but I love this stuff! As different as men and women are and were created to be, it's a wonder God designed us to be together. Actually it's not a wonder because of how I believe the Lord works. He uses us to sharpen each other and mold each other as we walk through the process of sanctification. Often frustrating but also exciting because it means that as we bump heads, have misunderstandings/miscommunications, or simply have "off days", we are sharpening each other if we choose to allow Christ to work.

On a funny note:
I found myself having an emotional day.. yes, I'll admit that. It's SO weird because pre-marriage, I was able to be emotional for no reason at all and cry and get out my "crazy" without anyone present to wonder what I was thinking, why I was crying, or how they could help. Well, crazy thing, but when you get married, there is always someone there at the end of the day! So when you're crying about whatever-it-is, they're right there experiencing it with you! I felt so abnormal.

Well, the other night, I was watching the movie Tangled, and I saw this scene. I LOVE how the characters portray the typical girl-guy interaction when a girl has a fickle mind or emotional back-and-forth. It made me feel like maybe I'm not the only one experiencing this if Disney creates a comical scene from this experience.

Let me set the scene - Rapunzel has just been sneaky and run away from home when her mother had told her to stay. She has never been out of her tall castle before and she was very excited to see the world. The guy with her somewhat helped her escape. This is the scene when Rapunzel realizes what she has done...


Harris is COMPLETELY the guy in the background just standing there waiting on Rapunzel (Taylor) to get all of that emotional stuff out of her system. He just stands in the background and then walks up to comfort when the main storm has calmed. I love it. God is funny. As we discussed this week in our WinShape Retreat devotions, we all need somebody in our life who will grate against us sometimes so that we will ultimately be sharpened.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." - Proverbs 27:17

Seriously.. that scene is my life.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

updates.

So it has definitely been way too long since I have written an update. I suppose that's the life when you're adjusting to being married. Harris and I are FINALLY settled into our two-bedroom apartment out in small-town Rome. It's so fun to see all of the "decorations" merging together. The bachelor-pad of Harris' years as a single 20-something and the feminine decor-category that my things fall into. I'm really pleased, however, at Harris' creativity in interior design. He's so much more creative than I thought!

We have a pair of antique windows that my mom's friend, Irene, bought for us to use at our wedding. When trying to decide where to put them, I was about to give up because they're so heavy; it didn't even seem practical to put them up on the walls. Harris quickly found a spot for them - suspended between our kitchen and living room in the open space above the partition wall!


I love being able to discover the little things about someone you love that really make them special. Little did I know, Harris has a creative side! Little did Harris know, I have a thrifty side!..

We went to one of my all-time favorite stores, TJ Maxx the other week and were shopping around for the little odds and ends that would complete our home. I found this beautiful (but broken) piece of furniture that I wanted to use in our bathroom. It only had two legs (of four) and the other legs were nowhere to be found. I asked the salesman if he had kept the legs. He checked with his manager who proceeded to tell us that he threw them away. Crafty/creative Harris mentioned that we could knock the other two legs off and make it flat.. perfect! Thrifty-Tay mentioned getting a major discount since the piece was broken.. the manager agreed!


Original price of beautiful bathroom cabinet: $100
Discounted price of beautiful bathroom cabinet: $20
Getting creative and also getting a great deal: Priceless!

We have really enjoyed making our little place comfortable and warm. There have also been bumps in the road because of differing opinions and lack-of-space that comes with apartments. The process of merging two worlds and making a home together is very challenging yet also very rewarding.
I'm not sure if this verse applies, but it really seemed to:

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.." - Ecclesiastes 4:9

Our reward is most definitely sharing in the gift of marriage that God has given. We are grateful!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

normal.

Harris and I are slowly but surely settling into our new apartment. So many boxes, so little space. In talking with people, they always welcome us back from the honeymoon and the next question to follow is about getting settled in. We always include the response that we are very ready to just have everything settled and situated so that we can continue on with a "normal life". Normal life, eh?

After thinking about it further, I started to realize that the term we were thinking of rarely pans out the way that we picture it in our heads. Life in general is never as smooth-sailing and routine as we sometimes would like; something always comes up. Our initial response to "abnormal" life is always frustration, annoyance, sadness, or confusion. However in complacency we start to think that we do not need a Savior. Abnormal life is what creates a desire in our hearts for the One who can hold all things together and work all things for our good. If all things are going exactly as we want and plan, we would be our own god.

I'm glad life is never "normal". I'm glad none of us are "normal". God is creative, imaginative, and all-knowing. I am glad He knows exactly what I need and when I need it. He knows there are things in me that need to be worked out through this and every stage of my life.

Marriage truly does, as I was advised in engagement, reveal things that you didn't know about your spouse but mostly that you didn't know about yourself. I think that we try to fool ourselves (or maybe I should just speak for myself) into thinking that we are normal and the way we speak, think, and act are all normal. Normal can sometimes equate to selfish, rude, or something else ugly. When before we could put our best foot forward, being married allows the person you love the most to see the "other foot" that you always kept hidden before. We get tired, hungry, grumpy, and we sin. When God created this relationship to imitate that of Himself and the church, he created the perfect illustration - of course.

Anyways, all of that rambling to say that I'm learning that I love not being "normal" or having things "normal". God is at work and I see Him the most in my mess. Thanks be to Him that His grace is enough!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

helpless.

I feel as though an appropriate place to start off the new blog is with a completely honest thought. As I have gotten older I have gradually become more fearful of flying. Great. My husband wants to be a missionary pilot and, for those of you who know him, is completely fearless.

To begin, let me guide you into the mindset of boarding a plane. You know the routine: you walk down the rather warm portable hallway that connects the airport to the airplane, you step foot onto the aircraft and then proceed to shuffle your way down the tight aisle, pulling your too-large carry on behind you while repeating "excuse me" and "sorry" as you bump other passengers along the way. As you scan the number-letter combos on the low ceilings, you eventually (if you're like us and fly coach) come to your designated seat assignment. You proceed to look around and determine in your mind what your flight experience will be like based on who all is sitting around you and where your seat is located.

The pilot comes on the overhead in a muffled voice and describes where you are going, what time you're expected to get there, and then instructs you to pay attention to the safety instructions given by the smiling attendant. You fasten your seatbelt. You "turn off" your electronics. You wait.

It is at this point, I have recently discovered, that my nerves begin to make their presence known. I don't know the statistic but I believe that many people are like me when it comes to this next part. The plane rounds the final turn on the airstrip, the sound of the engines on the plane become louder, and you take a deep breath. The plane increases speed and races down the runway. There is a moment right at the end of the paved road where the plane leaves the ground and as it ascends into the sky, the pressure makes you sink into your seat. For whatever reason, this physical experience has become such a source of fear for me. I think I'm so much more aware of how helpless I am in that situation. I am (seemingly) in the pilot's hands, however skilled or not they may be.

As I feverishly and anxiously prayed for our safety, God sweetly reminded me of whose hands I am really in. "Yes, the pilot has control of the plane, but I have control of your life. I am holding you in my hands." The butterflies were physically still in my tummy, but I had a renewed mindset about the flight. My God who knows me and loves me and has prepared room for me in His Kingdom, will welcome me there with open arms when the time is right.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation -- whom [what] shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life -- of whom [what] shall I be afraid?" - Psalm 27:1

Sometimes it takes the reminder that life is fragile to spur us into remembering who knitted the strong stitches of our valuable life together before we were even known in this world.


*To add to the sweetness that is our new marriage, it doesn't hurt having a loving, patient and trained-as-a-pilot husband sitting beside you holding your hand and describing each sound that you hear or motion that you feel as you take-off and land.