The only thing I can say is that the Lord is more wonderful than we could ask for or imagine. There is absolutely no way that we can know where we will end up in life. It's funny how much I begin to fret when I don't feel like things are "coming together" (whatever that means). The plans that Harris and I had originally thought were going to be perfect for this next step of life did not pan out. We are somewhat back to square one. As you read before, as I was about to face this response, I wanted to make every effort to see both a "yes" as well as a "no" as God's provision; I didn't want to be discouraged if the answer was a "no". Well, I'll just be transparent, I was discouraged.
A good friend once told me, "All you can do is take the next right step." This is so true. For today, for this morning, and for any forseeable future, the only steps that are available for me to take concern my attitude and actions. I don't have any "open doors" at the moment to choose from, so I'll walk through the only "open door" that is always open to us: knowing Him and following hard after Him.
C.S. Lewis put it this way:
"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."
Aparently I have been blessed with many wise friends.. because I'm about to reference another good friend who counseled me in a different "life stage" when I was at a crossroads. She told me to seek after His face, not what was in His hands. Seek to know God not what God could do for me or give to me. So the only conclusion I can come up with is that God himself IS the blessing! Where we go or what we do does not matter - it pales in comparison to enjoying simply being His.
This picture spoke to me this morning. This is exactly where I am. Contrast this picture with the one I know you've seen before: the girl standing at a literal crossroad with signs pointing this way and that. She has a perplexed look on her face and seems very confused and frustrated. The girl in this picture is not walking down a path choosing right or left, she is not praying the question, "what next?" - she is enjoying simply being His.
What a beautiful image. Wrapped up. Covered with the power that He has. Not a worry in the world. Also notice that the little girl is facing the bright side of the painting, the sun. Jesus is facing the dark side. He is protecting her from the darkness. I can't help but imagine that when He puts her down, He places her on the light side and sends her on her way towards His blessings. He does not allow her to see all of the things He is fighting so that she can be free. He faces the things in the dark so that His beloved can walk in the light free of worry or fear.
If I never made another choice, step, or decision in my life, I could be perfectly content RIGHT there.
Thank you, Jesus that the only happiness and peace we can experience is in You.