Thursday, July 25, 2013

the to-do list.

I let my to-do list get control of me the other day.

A number of words fashioned in a vertically-downward way had the power to take over my peace.

Deadlines and expectations expressed in a list literally took over my mind... and all for what?

I reflected on the state of my heart as I was driving away from work the other day. The older I get, the more I am able to notice the beginnings of my frenetic energy (the state I get in when I allow myself to be taken over by negative thoughts/feelings). Call it getting 'in-tune' with me. I have a long way to go, but I'm starting to learn who I am. I was driving, thinking through that list of things I need to do, meanwhile I noticed that my heartrate and blood pressure were steadily rising.

God laid it out perfectly clear for me, and fortunately this time, I chose to open my eyes and see it.

My environment was speaking audibly of where my heart and mind should have been:  a worship song was playing in the background in the car, and the dude was singing to the Lord, "You are my Joy, You are my Joy, You are my Joy!" The grass was greener than summer has ever seen because of the abundance of rain we've had here in Virginia.

It was almost like, if you can imagine here with me for a second, a scene from a movie where something drastic happens in the main character's mind and the record scratches as they zoom into the character's suddenly-cognizant facial expression. That was me.

How did I let my to-do's steal my joy?

My joy is the Lord. My joy is in my heart because of He who is in my heart. I am not defined by these things on my to-do list. I will not let myself be controlled by them either. I will rest in Him, trusting that if I work diligently, allowing for time for the important things and just giving it my best effort, He will take care of what I really need.

No matter what.

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