As I lie here on my bed with this little man finally resting peacefully on my chest, I have a minute [the 60-second kind, not the "I'll be ready in a minute" kind I tell my husband when I'm getting ready] to reflect on how my life has changed from the moment he came into the world. Motherhood is a beautiful season, but not necessarily in the same way that I typically use the word beautiful. "Raw beauty" is how I'll describe this part of my life. Whatever I knew of life before has been stripped away and replaced with what I'll call the "building blocks", or the moments and lessons, of this new role I serve. The building blocks are not stacked impressingly high or in any organized fashion, they're simply there in front of me, and I need to come to the Lord with each one as I get to it. I do not know what to do with these new pieces, however, I am finding a challenging joy in bringing them to the cross each moment and speaking to my Father about them. When I prayed that the Lord would "rid me of myself", I believe He is answering.
The foundation that these building blocks are to be placed on, I believe, is grace. In these first few weeks of motherhood, that looks a bit like the following:
Grace for my boy who keeps us up all night because growing is hard work.
Grace for my husband who is picking up his own blocks and trying to build what God has called him to build with them.
Grace for myself when I try and it just goes all sorts of wrong. [More stories on that later.. I'm really awesome at this rookie first time mom thing.]
I must take the grace that was given to me by God and begin each day there (Lamentations 3:22-23). Only then will I be able to learn the lessons from the moments motherhood brings. Eventually, if all goes well, I pray that I will have learned valuable lessons from my new role that will forever impact who I am. I pray that what He is building in me will be pleasing in His sight, and more importantly that it will bring glory to His Name.
The block I am currently working with is called "being still".. one I believe will be a challenge for this "goer/doer". So for today, I will do just that until I learn it well and come across the next block I am to bring to the ever-forming structure. Only with God's help will I have any success, so until then, I pray for just that!
To mothers everywhere, especially those with whom I have had the pleasure of having a personal relationship with:
As I am sure all new moms do, I have the highest respect and admiration for all that you do. I have seen some beautifully raw structures built by so many of you and I am thankful first for the authentic words you have shared, and second that I now have the eyes to see just a glimpse of how much you put into following the Lord's blueprint for your story! Keep learning and building.. I'm honored to be a part of such a special group. May we all have grace for ourselves and one another as we walk this path!