Thursday, June 18, 2015

bigger plans.

I am extremely aware of the privilege it is to be able to stay at home with my son for most of the week. I work two days while Harrison enjoys time with his Meme, and the other days I am home with him. By no means is it a walk in the park to be home, but I do know that our family makes sacrifices so that I can be here. The balance is an entire blog post in and of itself, but that’s not why I’m writing this morning.

I never know exactly what each morning will bring when I am home with my son. The variable sleeper that he has been from day one has taught me to be ever on my toes, as I’m sure all other aspects of motherhood will do over time. Some mornings he wakes up with the sunrise, others he will be in a deep sleep until the comfortable hour of 8am.

I thought I was going to be getting a quiet morning this morning when Harrison fell back asleep after I fed him while Harris was leaving for work. Perfect morning for some quiet Bible-reading, praying, and journaling time to start my day! The monitor next to me, I opened my Bible and took a deep breath… “Thank you Lord for this time!”…


You know.

He’s up.

Of course.

[Let me insert here that for the record, I am delighted
to walk in and greet my son in the morning. It’s top on my list!
I love seeing him wake up and greet the day with his infectious smile.
Just so that’s clear. Anyways, back to the story of my first lesson of the day.]

So I look over and pray, Lord, I was just about to have some quality time with you. Surely it’ll be good for Harrison AND for me if he goes back to sleep. Please let him go back to sleep…. please?

Sure enough, he’s rolling over with eyes wide open. He’s up.

I was sure that God would honor such a small prayer as mine was. It was ultimately so that I could spend time with Him. Just a few minutes. Oh well, I suppose He had other plans. I went in, grabbed my happy happy baby, and brought him into the room where I had my books open. I placed him in his activity chair, and since he was happy, I decided I’d try to get some reading in after all. Here’s to hoping.

I began reading, praying, and journaling and he sat there quietly with the morning light streaming in from the sunrise. Before I realized it, many minutes had passed and I looked up and saw his bright blue eyes just staring at me. He was watching his mama enjoy the Word. Pray to her Father. Write down precious words from Scripture.

He was soaking it in.

In this small yet eternally monumental way, God had not answered the prayer that I thought was “best” for the situation. I thought the “yes” that I wanted was what I really wanted. He was answering much bigger prayers for me. I have asked from day one that my son would learn and know how mighty and amazing our God is. How else could he begin to know that unless it was by first watching his mother savor moments like these?

Clearly I am simple minded and not creative at all when it comes to orchestrating my time and my energy for God’s glory. All credit goes to Him. And I’m glad to give it.